Abundance Through Awareness: On Getting What We Don’t Deserve

This morning sat in my comfy 10+ year old chair, the one that slightly leans to one side and is continuing to fray at the edges, sipping coffee out of a chipped mug while my daughter watched Winnie the Pooh for the millionth time and my husband sat across from her in his suit pants and white shirt, reading the newspaper. It was a typical morning for our family, but I couldn’t help but be overwhelmed by how wonderful our everyday lives had become.

If it were only up to me–the choices I have made and the paths I have tried so adamantly to follow–I wouldn’t have any of this. I wouldn’t have this home, or this husband, or this leisurely time in the morning. Through years of stubborn ingratitude and a desperate desire for everything I didn’t already have, I could have easily lost what I now hold most dear. Indeed, if I had gotten what I deserve, I would be lost and alone this morning, rather than surrounded by so much simple, everyday love and abundance I can hardly hold back the tears of joy.

Looking for what we don’t have is the modern American way. I have a husband, but I wish he was A and B with more C. I have a house, but what I really want is a bigger one with D, E, and F. I have a job, but I wish it was more G, with H and I every year. I love my church, but I think it should have more J and K.

I’ll be happy when: L.

I’ll stop worrying when: M.

I’ll take more time to just “be” when: N.

Money. Clothes. Cars. Prestige. Vacations. Entertainment. Flash and flare.

Through being more aware of what I do have, I have been able to see the abundance that defines every aspect of my life. I have a loving, dedicated husband who would do anything for my daughter and me. I have a beautiful house, TWO working cars, a healthy body, work that challenges me, and friends and family who love me. Moreover–and this is most important of all–I belong to a God who loves me so much that He has saved me not only from Satan and those who would do me and those whom I love harm, but He has saved me from myself. And today I count that as the greatest gift of all.

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